Window
by AlwaysHiei
Summary: Hinata is right in front of me. My darling window. SasuHina oneshot, please read and review!


Window

By: AlwaysHiei

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does.

SasuHina Oneshot

My life has alwas been filled with darkness.

It's never been happy or sunny or anything.

When I was a child, it was lighter, but looking back now, it still wasn't exactly joyous back then. I mean, there was always shadows cast over my life, what with my constant sadness at how my father only seemed to pay Itachi attention and compliments, and only saw me as an average, nuisance of a son.

It got much worse after everyone was killed, of course. After that, I honestly could hardly see anything at all.

But it's never been pitch black.

Surprising, but it's true-- I've always had some sort of light, something that let me see. I could always see something.

I always had her there.

My window.

People who know her think she's so wonderful and perfect and light, without an ounce of darkness to her soul. They think she's never been touched by darkness, and has never experienced being in the dark side of life, never felt as terrible as it can make you feel, simply because she's so kind and pure that no matter what, nothing could pull her into here, where so many people have been or are.

They're idiots.

I know very well that's not true. She knows very well too, and it's not like she's trying to hide it.

Becuase I know and she knows that she's not an angel or something.

She's normal. She's human.

It's true, she is kind and wonderful and great. But that doesn't make her some other type of being.

She's been here in the dark; she's been here with me. She's even been right next to me before. We used to sit here in the dark together.

I guess a lot of people never realized she'd been stuck here too. But she had problems, which most everyone did realize. They just assumed none of it ever affected her.

Basically her whole family was against her; and that's a lot to take when you've got such a massive family, especially being heiress of it all-or at least, current heiress. Her father could make Hanabi such any time, really. And no matter how hard she tried, her skills as a ninja weren't really improving.

So her life wouldn't be sunny and happy, and she'd sit with me, where we could barely see. But I guess we always sorta knew we had each other.

Another surprise, I guess. Few people seem to know we actually spoke to each other. No one seems to know how close we were.

Best friends, I suppose you'd say. We always were together in the dark, and I think it made everything a bit easier, made it easier to be there. We both were thankful to each other for that.

Maybe we were more than best friends though.

I think so. I really think we were, even if it was unconsciously.

We knew each other well, better than ourselves almost.

We needed each other when it was dark. We needed to be together.

But eventually she got out.

She got up, and slowly but surely started moving towards the light of life, the joy. She kept moving forward because she wanted out. She needed out. She couldn't be in such a dark area anymore.

She tried to take me, tried to tell me how great it was in the bright light side, she tried to pull me up. She took my hand and pulled, trying to get me out, trying to help me because she...

She'd loved me.

But I kept still, wouldn't budge. I told her no. I said she could go if she wanted to, but I wouldn't leave. I told her the darkness was my home.

For a while she still stayed with me, trying to coax me out. She knew I was lying, she knew I was scared, she knew I didn't want her to leave me, and she knew I was worried that if she left I'd never see her again. She knew...

I loved her.

But I was stubborn, and I was a coward. I didn't want to see the light, I didn't want it to burn me. I figured it was safer here because it was dark and cold and nothing ever happened. Nothing happened, all I did was sit and think.

But she couldn't sit and think with me forever, as I wanted. She couldn't stay here, because it was boring and she was getting nowhere with her life.

So she left me. She slowly got farther and farther away, her figure growing smaller and smaller, until she was gone to me. Gone to the light with everyone else, smiling with everyone else, laughing with everyone else, being happy with everyone else, living with everyone else.

As soon as she was completely gone everything was completely black here. Darker than it'd ever been before.

A few years passed. She hadn't come back.

And here I was, still sitting alone, cold. I act like I don't care, I pretend it doesn't matter, nothing matters, she doesn't matter. But I know it's not true. This does matter, everything matters, she matters more than anything.

I rarely see much of anyone these days, since I just barely returned to the village, I try and keep to myself. Generally the only people I see often are Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, sometimes the hokage.

That doesn't explain much, does it?

After she left me, I left Konoha for Orochimaru. I saw she was happy with her team and friends, and I was selfish, I didn't want to see her like that because I wanted to be her only person, the only one to make her happy. And she'd been all I had here anyways, but since she was gone from the dark side of life, gone from where I always am, I decided I'd just go for power because I had nothing to lose anyways, and nothing to do here either.

But now I'm back. Orochimaru is dead- yeah, courtesy of me. I wasn't going to return after that either, but I ran into Naruto, and he dragged me here with him.

A lot of people dislike me now, but honestly I could care less. A lot of people disliked me before anyways.

I hope she doesn't hate me, though. I haven't seen her since I returned. I have no idea how much older and mature she'll look, how much stronger, how her personality might've changed. I have no idea if I'll ever get another glance of her, to be honest-- I really don't leave my house much at all, it's not like they'll actually give me missions or anything.

I'm still in the dark. I still can hardly see. I still need her. But I'm still alone.

I haven't seen the light of life. Not for a long time. The last time was when she opened the door from here to there and walked away from me-- for a split moment then I saw the joy, and I remember, I wanted so badly to jump up and run after her, to go with her, to stay with her, to be with her, to be happy with her. Once again, I was too stubborn, too weak, and too scared to do so.

So here I am, lonely.

And I remember.

Hinata isn't perfect.

Hinata hasn't always been out there.

Hinata can't always be out there.

Hinata has her bad times, bad thoughts, bad memories.

Hinata isn't pure completely, Hinata has pain.

Hinata is right in front of me.

Hinata... is here, not there.

No, she's there, not here.

She's neither here nor there.

She's between.

Halfway. Come halfway. 

Hinata is showing me. Showing me even more clearly what everyone has, what she has, what she wishes I'd have.

What she knows I want.

Careless laughter, constant smiles, warm sunshine, strong friendships, happiness.

Hinata.

My window.

My darling window...

My look into the real world, my view of joy.

My window to look out of to watch the rain, my window to sit on the sill of and read a book, my window to let air and light into my bedroom, my window.

My window is crying.

Crying for me, crying for me to just come with her, crying because she needs me too, because she needs me to be with her, because she can't be happy enough out there without me. Because she's waited for me, waited for so long.

There's so much out there for you, for me, for everyone, for us, she says. I want you to be happy, I want to be happy, I want us to be happy.

Look. Just look.

Look through me, your window, and let yourself see. Let yourself want, let yourself come, come with me, to me, for me.

I'm showing you, I'm giving you enough light to see a path out-- I'm waiting, Sasuke.

Hinata is my window and Hinata is my Hinata.

I love her. I'll go with her. She'll guide me, protect me, help me, be with me.

I'll go.

Slowly I get up, and walk cautiously over, leaving my "home" for a new, better one.

Slowly, I take her offered hand...

And climb out through my open window, and pull her along.

Hinata isn't perfect, I'm not perfect; but we can be here if we try.

Just me and my precious window.

THE END

Umm... Yeah. I was bored. I dunno. Just review, kay? Thanks.

Seeya,

AlwaysHiei 


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